A review reel reminds us that all the serious relationships this season didn’t involve JoJo. We start with the conflict between insecure Jim Halpert and Alex. Nick, previously an anonymous drunk in a Santa costume, comes to Halpert’s defense. He says Alex is clearly a dick. DJ Wells comes to Alex’s defence. He says Alex is a dick and a war hero. They seem to have hit a dick wall, so everyone decides to turn on Chad again.
Chris Harrison welcomes him to the stage, and everyone is ready to poke the Chad Bear. Unfortunately for them, Chad Bear poked first. Apparently, after the show wrapped he dated both Grant’s and Robby’s exes. Santa offers to fight Chad, who declines because he’s wearing dress shoes, so Grant offers to just transfer his deed and have done with it.
The attacks on Chad keep coming, and despite all evidence that he’s a violent crazy person, he is a remarkably charming violent crazy person. We review video evidence and the Evan t shirt debacle starts to make sense right up until Evan tells us he was doing stand up comedy when it happened. We even get more words of wisdom from that honey tongued master of ceremonies, DJ Wells, AKA Voice of Reason. This perpetual Peter Parker feels sorry for the dudes, who lost camera time to Chad, and for Chad, who has to be Chad.
Harrison interviews Luke and Chase, who confirm that they’re both single and sad, but not too sad to be the next Bachelor. JoJo comes on stage so they can thank her for teaching them to love. 1/3 of the Jameses aw shuckses at her, and then Chad decides he wants whatever bonus the producers offered him and trashes Robby and ARLB. JoJo threatens to go off,
but then remembers the fancy shoes rule. We close with an endorsement for Vinny from his mom, and the promise of a new break up next week.
Wit and Slander 